As a toddler mom x2 and a family photographer of 8+ years, I TOTALLY understand the pressure that comes with hiring a family photographer and hoping and praying your kids will behave! I get it, you’re paying for these photos after all! Plus you’re taking the time to plan everyone’s outfits and to actually do your own hair and make-up for once, of course you want it to go well!

I have learned a lot of tips and tricks over the years to help your session go smoothly, whether you have a fussy baby, an emotional toddler, an active child, or a moody teenager! Before becoming a full time family photographer, I was a School Counselor for 6 years! I find that my combined expertise between both School Counseling and Family Photography has made me really skilled with helping children to feel comfortable in front of the camera and to actually enjoy family photos!

I saw a post recently, and I hate that I can’t remember where I saw it, but it said this:

Your child does not want to pretend to be happy during your family photo session.

They want to feel happy.

And wow, I believe this is so true! As adults, we don’t mind pretending to be happy for photos sometimes because we care about the result of the photos. We see the bigger picture. We are rewarded for the session because we value the photos we are going to receive afterwards! Your children are not really thinking about that, nor are their values in that same place as yours. Which is totally okay and totally developmentally appropriate! So what can we do to still capture those genuine, joyful photos with your family?

I’ve got you.

Below I am sharing my best secrets to having happy kids during your family photo session!

1. Set Your Children Up For Success BEFORE The Session

As the Photographer:

As the photographer, I will coordinate a session date, time and location with you in a way that will set your children up for success from the very beginning! Does your toddler want to get in small bodies of water whenever they see them? Mine does lol. We can make sure your session isn’t near a pond or lake! Is your child triggered by having a playground in sight that they can’t play until after photos? Let’s make sure we choose a location that isn’t adjacent to a playground! Little adjustments like these can already make your session run so much more smoothly and we haven’t even had to bribe anyone yet! Is your child terrified of bees? Let’s avoid garden locations with a lot of blooming flowers! The key here is just communication between client and photographer! You can let me know all of these things in your booking questionnaire and in our communication leading up to your session!

As the Parent:

How you talk about your upcoming photo session is going to be a key factor for how your child feels about the entire photo experience! Talk it up! Get excited! And I’m talking about BOTH parents here (if both parents are involved)! Don’t make it sounds like a chore, but make it sound like a fun family event! Maybe you can turn the whole day into a family day with fun events throughout the day!

Let the kids play a role in the planning process! Let them pick out what they want to wear! If you’re worried about how this is going to go, provide them with forced choices where you are okay with either option but they still get the freedom to choose. Let your child decide on a fun or cool pose that they want a photo of! A twirling photo in a pretty dress or a ninja jump as high as they can go! Ask them if they’d want their photos hung up in their room or in a photo album! Letting them be a part of even the planning for the session can get them excited and feel like a willing participant and not a forced captive!

If your child is particularly anxious with new people or maybe new places (like if we are using a location you have never visited before) feel free to show them my website to see photos of me and other families with kids or show them some of my Instagram reels with behind the scenes footage! If possible, go visit our photo spot or show them photos of it online! Exposing them to these details can help build them feel confident and comfortable doing something brand new!

2. Building Rapport

As the Photographer:

I will use your questionnaire and any other information you have shared through our pre-session communications to learn your child’s name, age, and special interests! When we first meet, when we are walking to various photo spots, and throughout your entire session, I will build rapport with your kids! I do this by asking about shows they like to watch, food they like to eat, sports they like to play, princesses they love to dress up as, or anything that helps me learn more about what brings them joy! I used to be an elementary school counselor, so I am used to using developmentally-appropriate conversation topics to help children feel comfortable in new environments.

As the Parent:

This one is easy, just let me know about your child(ren) by answering the questions in your booking questionnaire! Forget to tell me something? Send me an email with anything that would be helpful for me to know! This can be as simple as name, age and favorite song or tv show or it can be as complex as how your child is impacted by a physical or mental disability. I will use your responses to adapt my approach!

3. Keep It Moving

As the Photographer:

I will use fun prompts and activities throughout your session to keep you all moving…yes ALL of you! This can look like spinning your child around like you are dancing in a ballroom! This can look like tossing your child up in the air! This can look like riding up on your shoulders or piggy back rides! This can mean playing red rover or red light-green light! And I’ll read the room! I never want your child (or you) to feel pressured to do a certain pose/prompt. I’ll build off of everyone’s energy and adapt my prompts to ones that bring genuine smiles to everyone’s faces!

I try not to assume anyone can or wants to do any given activity so I will check-in before giving the prompt with a quick “how do we feel about ____” or maybe “Dad, is your back okay to carry ____”?

As the Parents:

Just be ready to play and have fun with your kids! I can’t promise you won’t break a sweat. I can’t promise your arms won’t be sore from tossing your toddler up in the air over and over again after they keep saying “more.” I can’t promise you won’t need to take an ibuprofen before bed!

But I can promise that being intentional with this time will bring so much joy to your family’s session experience.

Not only will you have the most authentic smiles captured in your gallery but you’ll also have created such a fun family memory together! Which will make your kids actually look forward to their next photo session!

4. Stay Calm. Stay Flexible.

As the Photographer:

I am already a very calm person, so I will stay calm and flexible throughout your session. Is your child not enjoying a pose or prompt? No problem, let’s do a different one! Is this location too bright? Let’s walk over here! Does your child need a break from following directions and just want to free play or run? Let’s let them! These candid moments are often some of my favorites to capture anyway! This is why I love full sessions more than minis, even for the littles. It gives them time to get comfortable with a new person and to have brain breaks where they can play and explore and snack and have fun!

As the Parent:

Join me in staying calm and flexible too. Even if you’re typically a little more Type A or structured. Let’s slow down and stay in tune with how your kids are feeling and what their needs are. I promise we will still get the beautiful photos…but only if you are not looking stressed and frustrated!

5. Giving Your Child More Autonomy

As the Photographer:

I let kids take the lead! Especially if they are opinionated already or feeling apathetic about family photos. I alluded to this in number one, but giving your child the ability to make decisions and take back some control in a situation they might feel like they are forced into, can help them to have more fun and be more excited about taking photos!

I do this by asking them which parent they want to hold them or which game they want to play or which pose they want to do! Any time there are opportunities for the child to be a part of the decision making process, I lean into it. For children who are already on board with the whole experience, I might do this a little bit less. But for children who are not following directions or who are dragging their feet or hiding/clinging to a parent, I will lean into this a lot more! One other way that I build trust and excitement with kids is by showing them what their photos look like on the back of the camera! If they’re older, I’ll even let them push the button to take a picture themselves! Most of the time, after a child has seen a photo of themselves on the screen or they see a photo they’ve taken, they start to get excited about the concept of photography and want to take more and see more and we can go from there!

As the Parent:

Use what you know about your child and their preferences to help me guide them throughout the process. You know they love superheroes? Ask them if they would like to do a spiderman pose or a batman pose! You know they love to run super fast? Ask them if they want to run as fast as they can to mommy or daddy! Let’s take those “unwanted behaviors” and instead of scolding and disciplining, we can use forced-choices and creative ideas to turn them into wanted behaviors!

This may differ from your typical approach to parenting and I don’t want to overstep, but I also want to encourage you to try not to focus so much on unwanted behaviors and disciplining in during the session. And don’t worry about my opinions because I have two toddlers myself and plenty of experience with kids so please don’t be embarrassed on my behalf! Obviously, if there are behaviors that are truly unacceptable and you need to take your child to the side to have a conversation, I understand. But for those harmless behaviors that come from a place of anxiety or energy or short attention spans, don’t forget that your responses are actively impacting your child’s emotions, their facial expressions and of course, your photos!

It would help me the most if you focused on loving your child well in that moment and letting me take the lead to adapt my approach to working with your child to build their autonomy and achieve better results!

Don’t forget that the camera is capturing your behaviors too and sometimes I’ll have captured all of these smiles/laughs from kids but the parents have their stern, eye-brow pinching, frowning faces on and the photos are essentially ruined.

6. The True Secret to Happy Kids During Your Family Photo Session

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HAPPY GROWN UPS!!!!!!! 💃🏻🪩🕺

If you’ve actually read this blog leading up to this point, this will probably come as no surprise to you!

If mom and dad are excited for family photos and are acting silly and playful, the kids will feed off of that energy too! I’ve had a lot of really amazing families that have been all on board to play and have fun together at their session! But sometimes I’ve found that mom will be excited for photos but dad might be dragging his feet and kids can feel that too! Especially the boys who want to be like dad!

So maybe the real question is…how can we get dad excited about family photos?

And what is my secret tip to happy dad’s during photos?

Food.

BONUS TIP: THE FINALE

Over the past few years I have been encouraging families to viewing their galleries TOGETHER!

My gallery delivery platform (Pixieset) has a slideshow button you can use to display your photos and you can even screen mirror/airplay your slideshow up on the TV! And what better way to create an exciting finale to the whole experience!? You can call out your favorites, awwww at the sweet moments, and laugh at the silly ones!

The cherry on top? Printing your photos!!! Let your children pick a photo to hang up on their wall in their room! Order a photo album that they can become their new favorite storybook before bed! Make the most of your photos rather than just updating your screensaver or your profile picture.

Family photos are so much more than just photos. They are showing the value you put on your family. They are showing your kids how much you love spending time with them and how much you treasure it! Cover your walls with these memories to create a home environment that shows how much you love one another. Through the challenging moments and the hard times.

Follow my tips for your next family photo session and once you’ve created that positive connection between your children and family photo sessions, they will get easier and easier as you go!!!

Thanks for reading!

XOXO, Rachel